Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be difficult at times, but it doesn’t have to be something that harms your relationship. BPD symptoms can include complex and unhealthy thought processes, SpecialBridge anxiety, poor self-image, and dramatic mood swings. People with BPD are also more inclined to exhibit impulsive behavior or self-harm. Have you started dating someone with borderline personality disorder?

And on him as well, because I wouldn’t complain or say anything, but he could tell I wasn’t ok. And he kept accusing me on lying and not telling the truth about how I felt. She told me that in the context of what I should be doing with my soon to be ex-wife, and I didn’t pick up on it in the context of our relationship.

Borderline personality disorder

If you think you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, be careful. It’s not as if you get hit by it in one go. It’s more that, over time, things begin to change. You begin to notice that you just don’t feel quite right about their reactions to things.

#5. You Should Establish Limits And Boundaries With Your Partner

Borderlines’ intense, labile emotions elevate you when they’re in good spirits and crush you when they’re not. You’re a prince or a princess; a bastard or a bitch. If you’re on the outs with them, all their bad feelings get projected onto you. They can be vindictive and punish you with words, silence, or other tactics, which feel manipulative and can be very destructive to your self-esteem.

Sometimes I was secretly annoyed by someone that almost sits on top of you on the couch 24/7, but I’d rather an affectionate guy, than a cold one. Obviously at the start of the relationship, one of the things I loved was his compassion towards my depression, as he had gone through that too… so the sudden sadism, was shocking. I know I have his best self, his respect when I am happy and doing my own thing, but he can tell the difference between fake-happy, and real-happy…. So I don’t know how to mask the depression enough not to fed him or put a target on my head. If you’re really desperate to get your BPD relationship fixed, you really need to grab myFREE “Relationship Death Sentence” report. It’s all about the #1 mistake that nearly everybody makes which sends their relationships to the morgue.

Emerging evidence links borderline personality disorder with neurodiversity — which may help you reframe some key BPD traits as strengths. Romantic relationships present a unique set of challenges for people with BPD and for their partners. This honeymoon period can be very exciting for the new partner, too. After all, it’s really nice to have someone feel so strongly about you and to feel needed.

You’ll always be seeking a fantasy that never comes to fruition. We had a couple of arguments in these few months we’ve been together and she hurt herself, cut herself to be more precise. Dating can be a complex and tricky endeavor. Relationships require work, compromise, communication, empathy, and understanding.

I hope she is ok and that she can find happiness within herself because thats where I think its starts. But its simply impossible to be happy with someone else, if you arent happy with yourself first. Thats what I was trying to get across to her. So, I just refuse to date women who are into alcohol and partying hard and all that. It’s just not worth the trouble that alcohol can bring.

And yes “they are very black or white people, which is why relationships with them can often feel extremely rewarding one moment and toxic the next” I can’t agree more. First off, borderlines are mostly hyperaware of everything they think, ffeel, and do. And often times crumble under the guilt of their actions afterwards. So to say they have no remorse for their actions is not only completly wrong, but also a toxic believe to put out on the internet. I sadly had to stop reading midway through the introduction. Because you clearly have experience dating someone with these problems, but do not have a clear understanding of what bpd entails.

More from Hello, Love

So I would rather use one word; feminist. I think these two women let their hatred towards men cloud their consept of reality. You just have got to make sure the men you date are strong figures, that they’re independent, that they have goals and such that are bigger than you. Women that have BPD and seek help for it have my full respect and are capable of great improvement. Most individuals who struggle with BPD relationships have a form of attachment disorder.

Despite its many challenges, the prognosis for BPD is good. This means that while most people with BPD do experience residual symptoms even after time and treatment, in the long term, recovery and healthy relationships are possible. Many issues may arise when a relationship in which one partner has BPD ends. Because people with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a breakup can leave them feeling desperate and devastated.

It just may offer challenges to some people. Self-sabotage can in fact be a feature of some personality disorders. It was acknowledged as a fundamental psychodynamic trait of BPD by John Gunderson, MD, who expanded on it in his clinical guidebook. In fact, many people with BPD have healthy and successful relationships. You may not understand why things have been going downhill. You may feel significantly confused about the changes in your partner’s attitude and behavior.

These challenges can be managed, typically with professional support. However, clinical practice and literature have acknowledged it’s a common concern for both people with BPD and their partners. Some BPD relationship cycles may take place over months or years, depending on the severity of symptoms.

Just remember, live for right now, stay away from the past and your future is what it is. Your problem Cameron is that you are trying to save a girl. If you’ve read anything I’ve written, you can’t save people. This is classic “nice guy” behavior of trying to save a girl. It means you’re putting a woman before your own needs.

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